Hear No Evil
by formerflautist
Summary: Emma is the new girl at school. She fits in but she's keeping a secret that could make her an outcast.
1. Chapter 1

Emma walked slowly towards her new school. "Degrassi Community School Welcomes You!" the black and white sign proudly declared. Students were milling around the front steps. Some were greeting each other like they hadn't been in touch in years even though it was probably less than a week. Other students were alone and looked like they were dreading going in. Emma fit into the latter category. It was her senior year and she was starting a new school. She cursed the fact that her parents felt the need to get a divorce and her mother wanting to move from Vancouver back to Toronto. Making her way into the building she barely spared a glance at the two boys standing at the top of the steps.

"She gets a solid eight," Jay said as he watched the tall blond walk by.

"You're just mad that she didn't notice you," Sean said with a grin as his eyes tried to catch another glimpse of the girl before she disappeared down the hallway.

"She didn't notice you either and you're supposed to be the school stud." Jay said as he turned his eyes back towards his friend. "I gave her an eight because she's wearing pants. Now that rating is subject to change if I see her in a skirt."

"I'm sure Alex would be interested to hear that," Sean replied absently as he spotted Paige's car pull into the parking lot. "She's here."

Jay rolled his eyes. "Great. Oh, and Alex is a lesbian now."

"Really?" Sean asked, unfazed by Jay's announcement. "Wasn't she bi last week?"

"She's decided she's gay so that means that I'm really available now. That hot blond number is right up my alley."

"I'm really happy for you but I've got to go." Sean said as he noticed Paige beckoning from her car.

"Man, it's the first day of our last year-"

"If you don't repeat." Sean interjected

Jay chose to ignore the comment made by Sean. "And all I want to do is spend some time rating women but you're ditching me for a woman. You're a traitor to all men. Besides, aren't you guys broken up again?"

"Yeah, but she's still hot. And I'm not really all that interested in having sex with you. Later." Sean jogged down the steps and out to his on again, off again girlfriend's car.

Jay watched for a moment as Sean gravePaige quick peck on the mouth. He rolled his eyes. He never understood what Sean saw in Paige. But whatever, Sean getting some was better than celibate Sean. Celibate Sean was a dick. Jay decided to head into school. Maybe if he found the tall blond he would be on his way to ending his own celibacy streak.

* * *

Emma nervously walked to her first class. She was late because she'd been stuck spending extra time talking to the principal. Mrs. Hatzilakos had wanted to make sure that she would be able to handle Degrassi. It was as though Emma hadn't managed to survive all those years at her old school with no problems.

"Sorry I'm late," Emma said as she walked into Media Immersion and handed the teacher her pass. She could feel eyes on her but she remained focused on the teacher.

"Ah, Emma McKay," Mr. Simpson said as he turned towards her. "Class, this is a new student, Emma McKay. I trust you'll all make her feel welcome. You can take a seat next to Jimmy here," he said, indicating a boy in a wheelchair. "He's one of my best students so he can help you if you get confused. We can talk after class so I can fill you in on anything you missed."

Emma gave Jimmy a small smile as she sat down. She quickly glanced around the room at the other students. A dark haired girl gave her a quick smile when Emma's gaze scanned over her. A guy with a baseball hat gave her a "let's get to know each other better" look and Emma had to fight to not roll her eyes. Her eyes kept roaming around the room. She was more curious about her new classmates than listening to the teacher.

Sean watched Emma as she glanced around the room. She was pretty cute so it wasn't much of a chore. Glancing at Jay, he saw that his friend already had a predatory look on his face. He then looked back to the nervous female. Things didn't look too promising for this one. A lonely new student would be perfect prey for Jay. Love 'em and leave 'em was Jay's motto. Or rather it was screw 'em and leave 'em. Sean thought about warning the girl but then he figured it wasn't his job to play hero. This girl, Emma, would just have to figure things out for herself.

The bell rang signaling the end of first period. Emma stayed behind and waited because she knew Mr. Simpson would want to talk to her. Students quickly filed out, the last being "the look" boy who gave her another look. This time Emma made a point of rolling her eyes and his look turned into an angry frown. Emma just smiled as he left.

"It's good to see you, Emma." Mr. Simpson said when everyone left.

"It's good to see you too, Snake." Emma said with a happy smile.

"I was sorry to hear about your parents divorcing," Snake said as he leaned against his desk.

Emma sighed as she stood up. "It's not like it's that big of a shock. I mean I think they've been fighting since I was born."

"Before that actually," Snake said with a smile. "And I'm going to be selfish and say that it's nice to have your mom back in town. Seeing you once or twive a year isn't really enough."

"I know."

"Great. Tell her to call. Now, are you having any problems following along?"

"Not so far. I've been in regular school all my life so I'm used to adjusting."

"Fair enough. But if you have any problems then you can always tell me."

"I know. I'll see you later."

Emma smiled to herself as she headed to her next class. She'd known Snake since before she was born. Her parents had gone to Degrassi and they were all friends when Spike had gotten pregnant. Spike had managed to stay in touch with Snake and a couple of other classmates even after her subsequent marriage to Emma's dad, Shane, and their move to Vancouver after high school graduation. Spike,Emma, and sometimes Shane, would make the trek back to Toronto at least twice a year to visit family and friends. It wasn't like Emma was a total stranger to Toronto, but it was hard starting over.

* * *

Emma glanced around the cafeteria. The much dreaded cafeteria. She'd once read someplace that the cafeteria was worst place for a new student on the first day of school. A new person was okay in class but once lunch hit then it was a whole new ballgame. Where you sat in the cafeteria determined your social status. One wrong move and you could be persona non grata for the rest of the year. Not that Emma put a lot of stock into social status but she didn't want to be an outcast either. In Vancouver she'd enjoyed a rich social life. She was never the life of the party but she'd had a group of friends that she'd hung out with regularly. Spotting an empty table, she quickly walked to it and sat down. Hopefully she wasn't a total pariah and someone would sit with her.

Jay walked into the cafeteria just as Emma was sitting down. He got an evil grin on his face and made his way towards the table. He only managed to get halfway there when he was stopped by Sean.

"The lunch line is this way," Sean said as he grabbed Jay's arm.

Jay looked down at Sean's hand, annoyed that he'd been taken off course. "I know but the only thing I want to eat today is sitting twenty feet in the opposite direction."

"Weren't you the one bitching about me ditching you this morning for Paige?" Sean questioned.

"And yet you still ditched me," Jay pointed out, momentarily distracted from in point of interest. "Why should you be the only one getting laid?"

Sean could help but laugh. "That girl is not going to have sex with you. Let's go." Sean made his way through the crowd to the lunch line.

"You really don't think she would?" Jay asked, genuinely curious as he fell into place behind Sean.

"It's all about class, man." Sean pointed out as he weaved his way through annoyed underclassmen to the start of the line. "She's got it and you don't."

Jay was less friendly than Sean and shoved a skinny guy out of his way. "But you got Paige and you have no class."

"But I have the athlete card," Sean said as he grabbed two milks and set them on his tray. "She's a cheerleader and I play basketball so it works. But you like to work on cars and pick fights."

"I thought that's why you liked me," Jay said as he followed Sean down the line. He wrinkled his nose at the plate the lunch lady handed him. It was only the first day of school and they were already getting a mystery meat sandwich.

Sean gave Jay a strange look before pulling out his wallet to pay the cashier. "Yeah, but you're not trying to have sex with me. You're not, right?"

"You wish." Jay said as he handed his money to the cashier.

"Not really. It looks like someone else got to your chick first," Sean said as they made their way back to the seating area. "Manny and Paige have struck. They're probably trying to talk her into joining the squad."

"Well at least I'll get to see her in a skirt." Jay grumbled before going with Sean to the table that was now occupied by the hot chick and the two most annoying women he'd ever met.

"So the Spirit Squad is lots of fun. We get to go to all the games and talk to all the guys."

"I was right," Sean said as he pulled out a chair next to Paige. "I knew you were trying to talk her into joining the squad."

"Well, we all know this school is short on pretty girls so I just wanted to extend an invitation." Paige said with a frown as Jay sat down next to Emma. "Emma, this is Sean. The guy next to you is Jay. Please ignore his oafish table manners."

"I haven't even done anything bad yet," Jay said as he opened his milk and took a big gulp.

"But you will," Paige said with pursed lips. "I thought I would warn her first."

"That's big of you. I think I'll go sit with Towerz. Later Sean." Jay shoved back his chair and got up. He still wanted to make a move on the hot chick but he couldn't do it when Paige would have a running commentary of his every error.

"Good." Paige said with satisfaction. "Now about the Spirit Squad, do you think you'd be interested?"

"I'd like to but I'm afraid I have two left feet when it comes to anything more than walking." Emma said with a tone of regret in her voice.

"So does Paige," Sean interjected.

"Do you want to be banished too?" Paige asked as she flashed an angry look towards Sean.

"Right about now I do," Sean said as he stood up. "I'll catch you when you're not letting PMS control your emotions."

"And sometimes I wonder why we broke up," Paige said sarcastically.

"I don't. It's because you're a controlling, selfish, b-"

"Okay, that's enough!" Manny interuppted. "You've just met Emma and you're giving her a rotten impression."

"Whatever," Sean rolled his eyes and walked away to join Jay and Towerz.

"Ugh, men," Paige groaned in frustration.

"Yeah, they can be such jerks," Manny agreed.

"Totally," said Emma with a smile.

"So, did you leave any broken hearts in Vancouver?" Paige asked Emma.

"Oh several. They were throwing themselves at my feet as I left." Emma said jokingly.

"Oh my gosh," Paige smiled. "That reminds me of that guy I dated in ninth. The one who came to school in a cape."

"I remember that!" Manny exclaimed.

Emma listened as Paige told her story. She'd just been sitting there when the two of them approached her. Outside of trying to get her to joy the Spirit Squad they seemed to be pretty cool. Emma was just relieved to have new friends.

* * *

Sean walked out into the dark night. He'd just spent the evening working at Happy Harold's Arcade fulfilling the snack needs of little kids and pimply-faced teenagers. The annoying music of the arcade games and the jingle of coins left his ears ringing so now all he wanted to do was go home and enjoy the quiet of his parents' house. Sean was making his way past a dance studio when the door opened and out stepped a familiar-looking blond.

"Emma?"

"Uh, Sean?" Emma asked as she squinted in the dark. "Your name is Sean, right?"

"Yeah. What are you doing here? Didn't you tell Paige you had two left feet?"

"I did," Emma said as she looked down at the ground. "It's just that I'm not much of a cheerleader. Don't tell Paige or Manny, I really don't want to hurt their feelings."

"Your secret is safe with me. Do you need a ride home?"

"I'm just going to take the bus." Emma said as she stepped around Sean. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Wait," Sean called out. "I know you don't know me but you're safer going with me than you are waiting for a bus."

Emma paused before turning around. "Yeah, you're probably right."

"Of course I am." Sean grabbed Emma's elbow and ushered her towards his Mom's orange VW Bug.

"Nice car," Emma commented as she slipped into the passenger's seat.

"It's my mom's. She wants to go back to the seventies. At one point she decided that she was going to paint flowers all over the body." Sean said as he started the car.

"What changed her mind?" Emma questioned.

Sean looked over his shoulder and pulled out into the road before answering. "She thought that she would be setting a bad example for me and my brother. I'm not really sure why. Oh no, Mom is painting her car with flowers, that makes me want to go out and steal something!" Sean said sarcastically.

Emma laughed at Sean's joke. The idea did seem pretty absurd.

"But Mom is cool. She lets me drive this thing pretty much whenever I want to so I can't complain. What about your parents?"

"They're cool," Emma said shortly. She really didn't want to talk about her parents. "So how old is your brother?"

Sean noticed the quick change in subject but didn't say anything. "Umm, twenty-eight now. Where do you live?" Sean questioned, realising he forgot to ask.

"Degrassi street, just a block from the school. That's a big age difference."

"Well, Tracker was my parents' early in life surprise and I was their later in life surprise. They weren't very big on planning their kids but it all worked out. Tracker is a cool guy. He taught me how to fix cars and he would beat up kids that were mean to me."

"And what did you do for him?"

"I let him."

Emma grinned again. Sean's quick sense of humor had put her at ease.

"Thanks for the ride," Emma said as he pulled up in front of her house.

"No problem," Sean said. "And don't worry, your secret is safe with me.

Emma had a smile on her face as she watched Sean drive away. Life in Toronto might not be so bad afterall.


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh my gosh," Paige exclaimed as she sat down at the lunch table on Wednesday, "you will never believe what I just heard!"

"Where have you been?" Manny asked as she shoved her things out of the way to make room for Paige.

"If you'll just chill and wait for me to complete what I was going to say," Paige replied in a snotty tone of voice. "Anyway, Heather Sinclair is having a 'Welcome back to school' party on Saturday and she didn't invite me."

"Umm, who's Heather Sinclair?" Emma asked cautiously. She'd only known Paige for two days but she'd learn to tiptoe around the girl when she was in certain moods.

"Paige hates her guts because she stole Paige's boyfriend back in ninth," Manny informed Emma.

"No, I dumped him and she took my leftovers," Paige corrected. "I hate her because she's a stuck-up bitch who tried to get me kicked off the Spirit Squad for not wearing the shorts underneath our uniform."

"Was it true?" Emma asked.

"That was just a vicious rumor she started," Paige said as she narrowed her eyes at Emma. "Anyway, she graduated last year but she's still having a party for high school kids. She's now the queen of Loserville."

"Totally," Manny agreed.

"Speaking of which," Paige said as she looked around the cafeteria, "where's Sean?" Not spotting him, she shrugged her shoulders. "Oh well. Anyway, we're going to crash the party."

"But I thought it was for losers," Emma said, confused as to why Paige would want to crash.

"Oh, you have so much to learn and you are so lucky that I am willing to teach you. Heather is a loser for throwing a party for high school kids but you're cool if you show up at a party with college kids. Got it?"

"Got it," Emma said.

"So, we meet up at my house about eight to get ready and then we'll hit the party about ten. Sound good?"

"Awesome," Manny said.

"Umm..."

"Oh no," Paige rolled her eyes at Emma's unsure "umm". "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. It's just that it'll be easier for me to go to a party if I tell my mom I staying the night at your place then she'll be less likely to check up on me."

"Not lying by omission of the facts, excellent job. Now, let's talk about what we should wear."

Emma zoned out as Manny and Paige talked about clothes. She was tense about the party but she didn't want Manny or Paige to think she was a total loser by saying no. But usually at parties there was loud music and loud talking and drinking, all of which made Emma's life a heck of a lot harder.

* * *

"Mom, are you home?" Emma called as she walked into her new house after school. Not hearing a reply, Emma sighed and headed up to her room and lay down on her bed. The house didn't feel like home yet. Sure, the things in it were familiar, but it lacked any history. She'd spent most of her life in an apartment in Vancouver and she had so many memories from living there. There was just a void here.

"Guess you didn't hear me."

Emma opened her eyes to see her mother standing in the doorway. "I was just thinking about home. I miss it."

"This is our home now," Spike said as she came to sit next to Emma on the bed. "I know this is hard but going back to Vancouver isn't an option."

Emma looked down at her hands and tried to fight back the tears that surfaced. "I can't help but hope. I mean I know you and Dad aren't going to get back together or anything but I wish things could be different."

"Your father and I tried, you know we tried, but it just wasn't meant to be for us. Ultimately we just want what's best for you."

"Sure, as long as it means moving me across the country and leaving everything that's important to me," Emma said angrily. "He hasn't even called, has he?"

"Your father loves you, Emma."

"Has he called?" Emma asked again, her voice rising.

"No," Spike said quietly. "But he's busy."

"I don't matter. Even when I was there it was like I wasn't there." Emma said calmly. She was used to her dad's lackadaisical attitude when it came to her. She didn't know why she'd expected it to change now that she was in Toronto.

"I'm not going to defend his actions anymore," Spike said, standing up. "He's made a lot of mistakes with you but that doesn't change who you are inside. Don't let your father dictate how you feel about yourself. I raised you to be stronger than that."

"I know." Emma agreed.

"Why don't we go to the store and pick up something to make for dinner? I'll even spring for ice cream."

"Sure. I don't know why I'm being like this today. I guess it's because I got invited to a party today at school." Emma said glumly as she followed her mother down the stairs.

"Oh." Spike said as she grabbed her keys and purse. "Well it's good to hear that you're making friends."

"But it's a party. If I don't go then I risk losing friends but if I do go then I take the same risk."

"Maybe you should just be honest with them."

"No one here knows about it. I just want to be like everybody else for once. It's really not to much to ask."

"I won't tell you what to do but your new friends may surprise you."

"I doubt it. Let's just go."

Spike watched as her daughter walked out to the car. Emma was her baby and she wanted to protect her from everything. But she'd realised even before Emma was born that that was impossible. Unfortunately, Emma was still dealing with that fact.

* * *

"I look totally hot tonight," Paige said as put the finishing touches on her makeup. "Heather Sinclair is going to spit nails when I show up and all her latest boy toy wants to do is look at me."

"What about Sean?" Manny asked as she zipped up her boots.

"Sean can keep himself busy. There'll be plenty of girls there for him to have fun with. We just need him for his chauffeuring services."

"Well if you hadn't lost your license we would be able to go in your car." Manny reminded Paige.

"Well if you'd only get your license. How many times have you failed your driving test?"

Emma sat on Paige's bed listening to Manny and Paige snipe back and forth. They were pretty entertaining and for a few minutes she could forget how nervous she was about the party.

"Stop chewing on your lip, Emma." Paige commanded. "That is very expensive lipstick and you should only waste it on kissing a hot guy."

"Sorry," Emma said, not realizing her old childhood habit of lip chewing had resurfaced.

"There's no reason to be nervous," Manny said. "I know it's your first Degrassi party but it'll be fun. And Paige and I will have your back. Well, I will. Paige will probably be too busy making out with some guy."

"You were the one who spent the last party attached to Craig Manning's face." Paige said snapped back.

"I've known Craig for years. How long did you know Spinner Mason before you were screwing him in the backseat of his car?"

Paige gasped but the doorbell rang before she could say anything. Emma looked back and forth between the two girls who were now locked in a staring match.

"I'll just go get the door," Emma said, glad to have an excuse to leave the room.

"Hey," Sean said with a smile when Emma opened the door. "You look nice. Are you excited about the party?"

"Umm… Sure?" Emma said as she closed the door behind Sean.

"Nervous?" Sean asked as he made himself comfortable in an easy chair in Paige's living room. He knew Paige well enough to know that she'd probably another fifteen minutes.

"A little," Emma said, following Sean's lead and taking a seat.

"No worries. Just relax and have fun."

"I'm just not much of a drinker."

"Me neither. It's why I get the job of always being the designated driver. It's always been more fun for me to watch drunken people act like fools. I'm sure you'll see some great performances tonight."

"Let's go," Paige said as she walked into the room. Manny was following, rubbing a red cheek.

Sean looked back and forth between Manny and Paige. "Do you have to do this before every party?"

"She started it," Paige mumbled.

Sean gave Emma a look that clearly said he didn't believe Paige and Emma had to suppress a giggle.

"Sure," he said to Paige. "Let's go."

* * *

Emma sat on a sofa in Heather Sinclair's basement. Manny had left her there fifteen minutes ago, promising to "be right back" but she looked to have disappeared into the throngs of people just like Paige and Sean. But no one was trying to talk to her so things weren't so bad.

"Hey," Sean said as he sat next to Emma. "Are you having fun?"

Emma wanted to curse as Sean sat next to her. Now she'd be forced to have a conversation. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"It is a little loud in here." Sean said, raising his voice. "Are you having fun?"

"Not really," Emma said with a smile.

"Yeah, these parties can suck," Sean agreed. "But it's still early. Give it another hour and then see what happens. Why don't I go find you something to drink? Heather usually keeps bottled water somewhere."

"Sure."

"Okay. I'll be back in a few."

Sean got up in search of the water. A wrinkle of confusion marred his forehead. Emma had been concentrating on his mouth while they were talking. It was weird. Did she want to kiss him? Emma was hot so it wasn't like he'd protest. But why didn't she just go for it if she was interested? He'd supposed maybe she was just a little shy.

"This party sucks," Jay informed Sean as he came up behind Sean. "They have no Jack Daniels. It's all light beer. You'd think Sinclair could have at least gotten the real stuff."

"When did you get here?" Sean asked as he made his way to the kitchen.

"I've been here awhile. I was upstairs enjoying some company. What are you looking for?"

Sean rummaged through the refrigerator. "Emma doesn't drink so I'm trying to find some bottled water."

"And you came from the basement so that must be where she is. I think I'll just go and say hi."

"Don't be a dick, Jay." Sean warned. "I'm going to be down there as soon as I find the water."

Jay just smirked at Sean and headed downstairs. It was time he and Emma got acquainted.

"Hey Blondie," Jay said as he sat down next to Emma. "You're looking hot tonight."

Emma rolled her eyes at the sight of Jay but didn't say anything.

"Why don't you like me?"

Emma didn't respond but stared straight forward.

"Hey, I asked you a question." Jay said and touched Emma on the shoulder to get her to acknowledge him.

"Don't touch me!" Emma yelled and turned to look at Jay.

"I just want to know why you don't like me," Jay said, taken aback by Emma's anger.

"Because I don't think you see me as anyone other than someone to screw. You're completely immature and a complete jerk and I'm not interested in you."

"Fair enough I guess," Jay said, shrugging his shoulders. "Seen any good movies lately?"

"What?" Emma was confused by Jay's out of nowhere question.

"Well, I get that you're not interested so I'm trying to make polite conversation. You know, like a mature person."

A corner of Emma's mouth turned up at Jay's joke.

"See, I'm not such a bad guy."

"That remains to be seen."

"Just to prove it, I'll tell you a little story about me when I was a kid."

"Is this going to be about you and your dog, Lassie?"

"Funny, but no, it's not. My dog's name was Rover."

Sean stood across the room just watching Emma and Jay. Jay was doing all of the talking and Emma looked to be concentrating on his mouth, just like she had with him. Something didn't fit. She'd didn't seem to like Jay so why was she staring at his mouth so intently?What was up with Emma?


	3. Chapter 3

"That party was so insane!" Paige squealed as she stumbled into her house. "Heather Sinclair's eyeballs almost popped out of her head when she saw me kissing Eric. It was so cool!"

"Uh huh," Sean agreed. He locked his arm firmly around Paige so that they could make their way upstairs.

"Aren't your parents' going to hear us?" Emma asked as she kept a guiding arm on Manny's back.

"They don't care so as long as don't drive." Paige said. "My parents are cool."

"Or completely insane," Sean mumbled under his breath. He glanced at Emma to see if she was laughing but she was completely engrossed in helping Manny make it up the stairs.

"It's my bed!" Paige cheered as she entered her room. "I love my bed! And I know you love my bed," she said, giving Sean a big hug. "Everybody loves my bed!"

"At least all the boys," Manny slurred as she lay down on the trundle bed that Sean slid out.

Emma stood there and watched as Sean took care of Paige and Manny. He took off their shoes and pulled the blankets over them. It was really nice of him to be so helpful to two girls who probably wouldn't even remember enough about tonight to say thank you in the morning.

"Okay, there's a trash can next to both of you. I'm leaving water on the nightstand. I'll be back to check on you in a little while. You can come downstairs with me, Emma. I'll set you up with a pillow and a blanket."

"You're really nice to them." Emma commented as she followed Sean back downstairs.

"Someone has to take care of them," Sean said. He stopped at a closet and pulled out a pillow and blanket before continuing through the house. "I mean Paige's parents have a lot of money and everything but they don't have a lot of time for their daughter. I'm not sure if Manny's parents know what's going on. She's a straight A student so I guess they figure things are okay as long as she's doing well in school. You can sleep in here." Sean opened the door to a small room that held a couch and a couple of chairs and a TV.

"Thanks."

"I'm going to stay here for a little while and make sure they're okay. You can go to sleep if you're tired."

"Not that tired. I'm kind of a night owl." Emma sat down on the couch. "I want to ask you something but I'm not sure if it's too personal."

"You'll never know if you don't ask." Sean replied before sitting beside her. "I'm actually pretty open."

"Okay. What's up with you and Paige? You're not a couple but she talks about having sex with you."

"Ah, that. We have dated on and off for a couple of years. But we're just too different to be in any sort of relationship with each other. We always end up spending more time fighting than anything else. Now we just occasionally have sex."

"Like friends with benefits?"

"Yeah. We both know where we stand so it's not like either one of us is getting hurt."

"But what about if either one of you starts dating someone else?"

"Then it stops. Why, are you interested?" Sean asked, only half joking.

Emma felt her face getting hot but tried to cover by scoffing. "I was just curious, that's all."

"Sure. I guess it's my turn to ask a question." Sean noticed the blush on Emma's face but chose not to comment on it. "So what was up with you and Jay at the party? You two were pretty into your conversation when I walked up."

"I told him I didn't want anything to do with him because I thought he only wanted one thing and he called me on it. He's not as big of a jerk as I thought he was."

"But you know that he still wants to have sex with you, right?"

"Of course I do. But he wants to have casual sex and I'm just not into that sort of thing."

"So you disapprove of what Paige and I do?"

"Does it matter?"

"I'm just curious."

"Okay, it's not my thing because that's how I was conceived. My parents were just friends who were having sex and they got me out of it. They ended up getting married and then making each other miserable for the next seventeen years."

"But you're here and you seem okay so it must not have been all bad between them."

"Yeah, but I think that things would have been better if they'd been in love."

"You're a romantic, fair enough. Umm, I'm just going to throw something out there and then check on the drunkards upstairs."

"Okay. Should I be scared?"

"No, it's just that I think you're hiding something from everyone. There are certain times that I just get this feeling that something is off about you. I know that sounds really bad but I don't mean it in a bad way. I just wanted to mention it in case you wanted to talk about something. But if you don't want to say anything then that's cool and I understand. I just know you don't reaally know anyone in Toronto and maybe you need someone you can trust. You can think about it. I'll be back in a few minutes." Sean got off the couch and went upstairs, leaving Emma to contemplate his words.

Emma watched Sean leave. She didn't even know how to respond to Sean. She'd been so careful about hiding her secret but he'd still figured out that she was hiding something. Maybe he wasn't sure about what it was. He didn't seem to want to push her into saying anything. Now it was decision time for Emma: full disclosure or keeping quiet. What was the right thing to do?

**You all know by now that I like to build the suspense. A lot of you have guesses about Emma's secret. I'm not sure when the big reveal will come. It's up to Emma to tell me when she feels comfortable with everyone knowing. Go check out _Bringing Back Degrassi _on the forums page. It's going to a place where writers can get help with their stories and bounce ideas off each other. I'm trying to help Jess get the forum going so stop in and check it out. As always, thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	4. Chapter 4

Sean sighed as he slammed his locker shut. He had two hours of basketball practice to get through before he could leave school.

"Have fun at practice, Loser." Jay said, walking by Sean and punching his on the arm.

"At least I do something at school other than just show up." Sean shot back to Jay. "You show up just to piss people off."

Jay pressed his lips together and nodded at Sean's words. "You're right. But I'm guessing you're not getting any and that's why you're pissy. What did Paige close the candy shop?"

"Screw you. I've got to get to practice." Sean turned and headed towards the direction of the gym.

"Oh yeah, getting all sweaty with a bunch of guys is a way to get rid of all that sexual tension." Jay yelled out to Sean. "Good luck with that."

Sean glanced back and raised his hand and gave Jay the one-fingered salute. He was too busy flipping Jay off to notice Emma coming out of the Guidance Counselor's office and he ran right into her.

"Damn it!" Emma cursed as the brochures she was holding fell all over the ground.

"Sorry," Sean said as he dropped to his knees to pick up the mess he'd caused.

"It's not your fault, at least not entirely," Emma told him. "I was looking at these brochures for college and not paying attention."

"I was flipping off Jay. Here you go." Sean stood up and handed Emma back her brochures. "So we haven't really talked since the party. I can back down from Paige's room and you were fast asleep."

"Yeah, I was really tired," Emma said as she had to stop herself from biting her lip. It was just a tiny lie.

"Are things okay?"

"Well my mom is bugging me about picking a college but other than that things are cool."

"Good. I'm still here if you need to talk, except I can't right now because I have basketball practice, but any other time."

"I'm fine," Emma said shortly. She just wanted Sean to forget about the other night after the party. He was looking for full disclosure and that wasn't something he was going to get. But she did like Sean and she didn't want things to be awkward between them.

"Yeah, I know you're fine. I know you say you're fine but I'm not sure if that's the truth."

"Just drop it, Sean," Emma hissed. "I want to be your friend but I can't if you keep bringing up this imaginary secret."

Sean's eyes widened at Emma's sudden anger. He must have hit a nerve. "I'm sorry if I said something wrong. Honestly, I'm just trying to help."

"I don't need your help! I just want you to forget about it!"

"Okay, I will."

"Good!" Emma took a calming breath. "I need to go home. I'll see you later."

Sean watched Emma's long legs take her down the hallway. He was more sure than ever that Emma was keeping a secret but he couldn't force her to tell him. Right now maybe the right thing to do was just to back off.

* * *

"I'm home," Sean called out as he entered his house. "Mom, are you home?"

Sean walked into the living room to find his mother's eyes glued to the TV. "What are you watching?"

"It's a protest in America. Students at Gallaudet University are protesting their new president. It does my heart good to see people exercising their rights."

"Cool." Sean's mind flashed back to this afternoon. One of Emma's brochures was on Gallaudet. "I think a friend of mine might go there. I guess she'll be going to a school with some notoriety."

"Gallaudet is already notorious but not for this." His mother told him and turned off the TV. "Is your friend hearing impaired?"

"Why do you ask that?"

"Gallaudet is a university that is traditionally for hearing impaired students."

"What? But Emma's not…" Sean trailed off as things fell into place inside his head. Emma lied about having two left feet when she was asked to join the Spirit Squad. She was also reluctant to go to the party. It was hard to hear people speaking at either place. At the party she was watching his mouth and Jay's mouth. Was she lip reading? Could it be that Emma couldn't hear? But why was Emma so afraid to just tell the truth? Why was it such a big deal?

**Some of you guessed Emma's secret. I don't think it's a big deal but in future chapters I'm going to be getting into more of Emma's past and why she doesn't want anyone to know. **


	5. Chapter 5

"You need to stop staring at my girl," Jay whispered to Sean the next day before Media Immersion.

"I'm not staring at her," Sean replied. Of course it was a lie; he had been staring at her. But he was just trying to put the puzzle together in his head. He knew Emma could hear but she obviously had to have some hearing problems. He was just trying to figure out how bad the problem was.

"Do you have a thing for her?" Jay wasn't sure how he felt about this possibility. He and Sean had never liked the same type of girls. Although he supposed that Emma was more Sean's type. He'd always been into the blonds.

"She's not your girl," Sean reminded him. "You had one talk at a party and since then she's barely noticed your presence."

"And she's noticed yours?" Jay retorted. "You have Paige, let me have Emma."

"I don't have Paige anymore. I'm putting an end to our beneficial relationship."

"So you can go after Emma?"

"Jay, there are just some things that you don't understand. But yeah, I like Emma so if you want to go after her then you're going to have some competition."

"Gee, thanks."

"It might be different if you actually cared about her but I don't think you do. You're going to use her and then forget about her. She doesn't deserve to be put through that."

"And she's a big girl. Maybe you should give her some credit for being able to make her own decisions."

"And maybe you should just fu-."

Sean was interrupted by the entrance of Mr. Simpson. "Good morning class. I hope you all finished your homework."

Sean spent the rest of the class alternating between glaring at Jay and stealing glances at Emma. There was something about her, other than her secret that made Sean interested. Sure, she was beautiful, but there was something else there, something that made him want to get to know Emma much more.

* * *

"Emma!" Sean called to her as she was putting her books in her locker after school.

Emma turned around to find Sean standing right behind her. "You scared me," she said, jumping when she realized how close he was standing.

"Sorry, I was calling to you but I guess you didn't hear me."

"Oh, no, I heard you but I was trying to shove all my books in my locker first. What's up?"

"I just want to apologize for yesterday. I was being a jerk and I was hoping that you'd let me make it up to you."

"How?"

"Like a date on Friday. I've heard that the ballet is excellent. Maybe we could see a show and then get dinner."

Emma regarded him quizzically. Should she give Sean the benefit of the doubt? She was attracted to him. But she also liked him as a person. If the date sucked then at least she could be over her minor crush. "Do you really want to go to the ballet?"

"Is that your way of saying yes?"

"No, I didn't say yes."

"But you didn't say no."

"No."

"I'm confused. Do you want to go out with me?"

"Yes, but not to the ballet, it really doesn't make a very fun first date."

"It doesn't," Sean agreed, a smile breaking out on his face. "Okay, I have a better idea but you're just going to have to wait until Friday. I'll pick you up at six."

"It's a date."

* * *

"So who gets custody of the pumpkin?" Emma asked as Sean was driving her home from their date.

"I told you we needed to have twins. Now our pumpkin is going to hate one of us," Sean said with a grin as he glanced over at Emma.

"You try carrying two pumpkins for nine months," Emma retorted.

"Okay, this conversation is getting a little weird."

"Yeah, let's not go there." Emma looked over at Sean and smiled. Actually, she'd barely been able to stop smiling since the beginning of the date. He'd taken her to a pumpkin patch and they'd gone on a hayride and picked out a pumpkin and carved it together. He'd then taken her to The Dot for dinner. Their conversation flowed easily the whole night and Emma decided she definitely liked Sean.

"So, here's your house," Sean said as he pulled up to the curb. "I'll walk you and the pumpkin to the door."

"Okay," Emma bit her lip nervously as she got out the car. Now was the time of night when the kiss would come if Sean had had a good time. If he didn't, well, she might get a hug if she was lucky. If she wasn't lucky the high five was still acceptable to some guys.

Sean set the pumpkin on the floor of the porch and then stood up and faced Emma. "I had a good time tonight, Emma so I'm hoping that you'll consider going out with me again."

"I'd like that." Emma said quietly. Inside her head she was squealing in excitement but her face only showed a sweet smile.

"Good." Sean leaned in and captured Emma's lips in a sweet kiss. "I'll call you tomorrow," he said when they broke the kiss. "Good night."

"Night," Emma replied. She stood on her porch and watched as Sean got into his car and drove away. A smile lit up her face. She liked living in Toronto more and more every day.


	6. Chapter 6

Sean sat in his car and chewed his lip nervously. But then he realized what he was doing and he stopped himself. He'd never been a lip chewer, at least not his own. Was he picking up habits from Emma already? He sat and stared at the house that loomed before him. Paige's house, a place he'd never had a problem entering before. But today was the day he told her that the sexual nature of their relationship was over. He didn't think that part would make her angry but the part about him wanting to date Emma might. Paige had slightly territorial side to her so he wasn't sure how she'd react. Stealing himself for the confrontation, he made a move to get out of the car but before he could his cell phone rang.

"The fact that you've been sitting in my driveway forever is really creepy. Are you afraid the big, bad Paige is going to eat you or something?" Paige quipped when Sean slid open his phone. "You can't come in anyway."

"Have you been watching me? And why can't I come in," Sean questioned as he tried to figure out where exactly Paige was watching from.

"Yes. And Spinner is here, I'm doing a little entertaining."

"Doesn't he have a girlfriend?"

"So? She plays the saint and we all know that saints are celibate. Poor Spin sure isn't and neither am I."

"We need to talk."

"Is this about you and Emma and your little date?"

"How did you find out?"

"I have spies everywhere. And Emma came to me and asked me if I minded."

"And do you?"

"Had you two gone behind my back I might have had some problems. But I appreciate her honesty. Not that I think that my disapproval would have stopped you two. We had a good run so it's not a big deal if we end it. Besides, I think Spinner is interested in taking your place."

"That guy is dumber than a box of rocks."

"I know and that's why I like him. He's just so easy to control. Now, I'm going to go and enjoy the hot tub. I'll see you on Monday."

"Bye," Sean said but realized that Paige had already hung up. He couldn't believe how easy it was to tell her. A definite weight had lifted off his chest. But now he had to deal with Jay.

* * *

"What do you want, Man?" Jay asked Sean when he opened the door to his house and saw Sean standing there.

"I need to talk to you about Emma." Sean said and then slipped past Jay and into the house. He'd known Jay for years and he'd always been treated like family so he had no problem walking into Jay's house. And Sean figured if he and Jay were going to have a fight then they shouldn't do it on the front porch. Jay's neighbors were all older and libel to call the police if shouting starting.

"I thought we already went over this." Jay sighed and headed back to the den where he'd been playing his Play Station.

"Emma and I went out on Friday," Sean said, joining Jay in the den.

"That's nice," Jay said nonchalantly and sat on the couch. He had a good game of Gran Turismo going and he didn't want to stop just because Sean was feeling the need to express his feelings.

"We like each other." Sean said. He'd opted to stand in the doorway instead of sitting beside Jay. He figured a bit of distance would be better.

"And that affects me how?" Jay asked, his eyes still focused on his game.

"I'm letting you know this so you can back off. Whatever you think that you might have had going is over."

"Whatever."

"Why are you so casual about this?"

Jay smirked and pressed pause on his video controller and looked over at Sean. "Because I know you and you have a bad track record with women. Paige was your longest girlfriend and you two only really went out for a total of three months, give or take a few days. And that's including all of your makeup and breakups. I figure I just have to wait until you do something to screw it up and I'll be home free."

"I'm your friend, why the hell would you do that to me," Sean asked angrily.

"You started it when you decided to step on my toes and ask Emma out!"

"I don't want Emma to get between our friendship."

"So tell her you're not interested in dating her anymore."

"I can't do that."

"Then she's going to get between our friendship."

"It doesn't have to be this way," Sean said and began to back out of the room.

"It was your choice." Jay told Sean and then restarted his game. This conversation had gotten old. "It's a shame; I always thought it was bros over hoes."

"This is crazy, you weren't even dating!"

"Go home and stop wasting my time."

Sean rolled his eyes and left. He'd just wanted to honest about what was going on with Emma and Jay had turned into a complete tool. Granted, Jay was a tool with most people, but not with Sean, never with Sean.

* * *

**Sorry about the mistake with the last chapter. I also write for Roswell, well I did a couple of years ago, so that explains the mistake. Thanks to Funnechick for the PM. Thanks to everyone who's taking the time to review. Thanks those of you that aren't reviewing but still reading. Look for some Sean and Emma interaction in the next chapter, hooray!!! And maybe some Spike and Snake, hooray!!!! Yeah, I love the old Degrassi kids as well as the new ones.**


	7. Chapter 7

"I love double cheese pizza," Emma sighed as she threw down her napkin and groaned. It was their second date and Sean had taken her to see a movie, of which she'd only seen about half. Making out with a guy she'd only started going out with wasn't Emma's style. But there was something about Sean that made her throw all her previous ideas about dating out and just go with the flow. And besides, he was a really good kisser. Now they were sitting in a corner booth of a small pizza parlor, eating and enjoying each other's company. "Oh, and my mom wants to have you over for dinner soon. Is that okay?"

"Sure, no problem," Sean agreed as he took another slice. "I'd love to meet your parents. Well, that's a bit overboard. I'd like to meet them sounds better. That's sounds kind of cheesy, too. Can I just admit that I'm a bit nervous and have you not think that I'm less of a man for it?"

Emma grinned at Sean's verbal diarrhea. It was something they were both good at doing when they were around each other. "It's just my mom and she's really cool. I doubt you'll ever meet my dad."

"I want to ask about him," Sean said as he covered Emma's hand with his own. "But I don't want you to feel like you have to tell me anything."

"It's okay. I mean, he's just in Vancouver now and he's busy. I thought that maybe I would go to his place for Christmas but he left a message saying he was going to go on a Caribbean cruise instead. He called at a time that he knew I would be at school so he wouldn't have to talk to me."

"That's pretty crappy. Has he always been like that?"

"He's always been distant," Emma shrugged. "I don't know, I guess it was easier for him to be that way. He was only fifteen when I was born so it's not like he knew how to even be a dad. It couldn't have been easy for either of my parents because they were both so young."

"I wish I could give you an answer about your dad. Parents aren't perfect and if we don't expect them to be then I think life is a lot easier."

"You make your parents sound perfect," Emma said in her matter-of-fact way. "They just seem like the most down-to-earth, caring people."

"They are good parents but I don't think they're perfect parents. I mean like right now we're fighting about college. I like cars and I want to open my own shop after graduation. My parents can't accept that fact. They want me to go to college. I'm not against taking a few business courses but I don't want to waste the next four years of my life in a classroom. It doesn't sound in the least bit interesting to me. But at least once a week I have to hear about going to college and how disappointed they'll be if I don't go. I'm saving money right now so that when I graduate I can move into my own place."

"Wow, I had no idea."

"They're not horrible people or anything but they are getting annoying," Sean took a deep breath to rid him of the anger that the whole college subject brought up. "Anyway, tell your mom I look forward to dinner."

"Just so you know the meal will be vegetarian."

"Yeah, I figured. I can see there will be no double bacon cheeseburgers in our future."

"The meat industry is k-." Emma was cut off by Sean kissing her.

"What were you saying?" Sean asked when he pulled back from Emma.

"No idea," Emma replied breathlessly before leaning back in for another kiss.

* * *

"Would you two please stop making googly eyes at each other! Some of us are trying to eat our lunch," Paige said huffily. "I know you two are still in you honeymoon phase but a honeymoon only lasts two weeks and you two have been going out for three."

"Thanks for reminding me, Paige. Happy anniversary, Em," Sean said and then leaned into kiss Emma.

"You just made it worse," Manny said with a smile. She was happy for Sean and Emma but she was a romantic. "But please tell me why Jay keeps staring over here. I thought you guys weren't speaking."

"Were not," Sean said, briefly breaking eye contact with Emma to glance over to where Jay was sitting with Towerz, "but he still has a thing for Emma."

"It's not a big deal," Emma said. She was trying to be diplomatic because she didn't want to be the one to end their friendship. "He's been nice to me and he never says anything bad about you. Just forget about it."

"That's a good idea. But I've got an even better one. Why don't we all hang out together on Friday night? Paige can bring Spinner and Manny can bring-."

"Her flavor of the week," Paige interjected. "Ow," Paige cried out as Manny's fist connected with her arm.

"We're at school," Sean chided. "Anyway, as I was saying, Manny can bring whomever she wants. We all haven't hung out in awhile so it might be fun."

"And where are we going to go? Paige asked.

"I don't know. I'll figure out something."

"As long as it's not too lame then I'm in," Paige agreed.

"Me too," said Manny.

"Excellent," Sean said. "Emma and I need to get going. We have a quiz in Advanced Calculus today and Emma is going to help me study."

"Please," Paige scoffed and rolled her eyes. "We all know you're going to go make out somewhere."

Emma blushed but didn't contradict Paige. She hurriedly grabbed her things and followed Sean out of the lunchroom. What could she say, she loved kissing Sean.

* * *

No mention of the secret in awhile. Don't worry, it's still there and will be revealed soon. I just thought I needed to build up Sean and Emma's relationship a little first. But I think it's going to come in the next chapter. And then there will be angst and pain and more Jay (for you Jay lovers out there.) Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing. Hugs to everyone (but not kisses because I don't know you all well enough for that.) :)


	8. Chapter 8

"Everybody wants something," Joey sang into his spoon which was doubling as a microphone. "Why aren't you singing, Snake?"

"Because I just ate and I don't want to throw up the wonderful dinner Spike made," Snake said as he put an arm around the back of Spike's chair.

"Yeah, it was great, Mrs. McKay. It was nice of you to invite me again." Sean said. This was his second dinner with Emma's mom. The first dinner had gone off without a hitch. He and Spike had actually bonded over a love of eighties' music. Tonight he'd just planned on dropping Emma off after school and then heading home to study but Mrs. McKay had insisted he stay. He like Mrs. McKay and he always wanted to spend more time with Emma so he wasn't going to say no.

"We're glad to have you. I'm just really sorry you got stuck listening to Mr. Zit Remedy over here."

"Oh come on, Sean's never heard me before and Emma always loves to hear about our high school days," Joey said with his trademark Jeremiah grin.

"I'm sorry Mom, but it's true, I do like hearing about those days. I especially love hearing about your hair. In fact, I think there's a picture around here someplace that I'm sure Sean wants to see." Emma scooted back her chair and ran out of the room. Drawers could be heard slamming as Emma looked for the picture.

"So how is it that your students have never heard about your wild and crazy band days, Mr. Simpson? You went to Degrassi so how come no one has ever said anything?"

"You can think Joey for that one. His reign of terror is something that the current administration doesn't want to remember," Snake said with a smile as he punched Joey lightly on the arm.

Joey shrugged his shoulders. "I could protest but it's true."

"Found it," Emma said as she came running back into the room. "Here it is, Sean."

Sean's eyes widened at he looked at the picture. It was obvious Mrs. McKay got her nickname. He couldn't believe the bleached-blond teenager with the massive hair was the same person sitting across from him. "Wow, you look different."

"Thank goodness. You can burn that picture now," Spike told Sean as she got up to gather the plates.

"I like the picture, Sean, so don't burn it," Mr. Simpson said. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to help Spike with the dishes."

"Can I do anything," Sean asked.

"Oh no, Snake and I can handle this. You and Emma go study."

"And she means study, kids, not make out," Joey said.

"Joey," Spike scolded, "I trust them. You I don't trust so you can help with the dishes too."

"Damn it," Joey hissed before scooting his chair back and following Spike and Snake into the kitchen.

Emma looked over at Sean and saw that he was laughing. "What's so funny?"

"You do realize that your mom makes Mr. Simpson horppy, right?"

"No way, that's so gross. We're not talking about this." Emma stood up and headed into her bedroom. She grabbed her bag and began to rummage around inside.

"It's not a big deal," Sean said as he stood in to doorway. "You make me horppy too."

Emma felt her face get hot. "I'm flattered but I'm just not ready for that part of a relationship yet."

"I just said you make me horppy, I'm not asking you to have sex with me. I get that you're not ready yet. I just wanted you to know."

"Okay. Are you ready to study?"

"I can't stay. I promised my parents I would be home early tonight. I did want to ask you something, though."

"What?"

"I'd like you to come to my basketball game on Saturday afternoon."

Emma swore inside of her head. How was she going to get out of this one? Of course Sean would want her to come to his games. As his girlfriend it was practically a requirement. "I want to but my mom might need my help at the shop."

"Come on, Emma, please."

"I'll try," Emma said and then began to chew on her lip.

"You have nothing to be nervous about," Sean said as he reached out to rub his thumb along Emma's lower lip that Emma was chewing.

"I'm not nervous," Emma said, immediately stopping her chewing.

"Okay," Sean didn't push the matter because he realized he was treading into the secret territory and it was someplace that Emma wasn't ready to go yet. "I'd better go." He leaned in and placed a brief kiss on Emma's lips. He wanted it to last longer but he was very well aware of the fact that this was her mother's house and that sort of behavior just wasn't appropriate.

"You make me horppy, too," Emma whispered when the kiss ended.

A grin lit up Sean's face. He knew he had to get out of Emma's room before he did something that he really wanted to do but didn't want Emma's mom killing him for. "Thank you," he said and ran out.

Emma's smile at Sean's reaction quickly turned into a frown when she realized what she'd agreed to do. A basketball game was someplace that she had no desire to be. But at least Paige and Manny would be cheering and Sean would be playing basketball so she wouldn't be forced to try and make conversation, which would be impossible for her to do at a basketball game.

* * *

Horppy is a new word that was made up for Eman over at Fan Forum and I was inspired to write a chapter using it. The angst is coming soon. Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing. 


	9. Chapter 9

Emma chewed on her lip as she walked up to the school. She could hear the shouting from outside. But she'd purposely arrived late to avoid any possible conversations with anyone. Now she just had to find a seat and quietly slide in before anyone noticed her.

"Hey Blondie," Jay said as he came up beside her. "Are you here to watch the boyfriend play?"

"Yes, but what are you doing here?" Emma was confused as to why Jay would even bother to show up. He and Sean were on the outs and it wasn't like he was full of school spirit.

"I had nothing better to do today so I thought I'd take in a game. I do so love watching basketball," Jay said as he put his arm around Emma and propelled her towards the gym doors.

Emma rolled her eyes. "Nice try, Jay. Now what's the real reason?"

"I was bored and the cheerleaders wear short skirts. That's the only reason I would come to a game."

"That makes sense. Well, I'll see you later," Emma ducked out from under Jay's arm and hurried to the entrance of the gym.

"You're not going to sit with me?"

Emma turned around. "Considering that my boyfriend isn't very happy with you right now I don't think that would be a good idea."

"You don't seem like the type of girl who takes orders from anybody."

"I'm not going to do something that I know will deliberately piss off my boyfriend either. I hope you and Sean work out your differences but until then I don't think it's a good idea for us to be hanging out."

"I like you, Emma."

"You don't even know me."

"I know I like looking at you. The rest can come later," Jay said with a wink.

"You're incorrigible."

"I know. You'd better go in before your boyfriend thinks you ditched him for me."

"Later Jay," Emma said before walking into the building. She couldn't help but like Jay. She didn't trust him, not that she really even trusted Sean, but she thought he was a funny guy who was easy to get along with.

* * *

Emma sighed with relief when the game was over. She swore that basketball had to be the most boring sport ever. But the cheerleaders' show during the break was awesome. Paige and Manny got into a fight with another cheerleader and they had a screaming match right in the middle of the gym. Emma was pretty sure Paige was pissed about the cheerleader calling Paige a "low-grade ho". Manny stepped into defend her friend and pretty soon all the cheerleaders were screaming at each other. Teachers stepped in to break it up before any blood was drawn, unfortunately.

Emma went outside to wait for Sean by his car. They were going to go out with Paige and Manny to celebrate winning the game.

"I can't believe she had the nerve to call you that," Manny said as she and Paige walked out of the building and towards Sean's car.

"I know. Well I'm sorry if Spinner likes having sex with me. Maybe if she'd stop being such a virgin and just realize that sex is a natural part of life, he wouldn't cheat on her. Hi Emma."

Emma couldn't help but smile. She'd caught the last part of Paige's statement. Only Paige could go from bitch to friendly in a nanosecond.

"Did you like the game," Manny asked as she dropped her cheerleading bag on the ground.

"Sure, it was fun."

"Please," Paige said with an eye roll, "it was completely boring. The only reason people go to watch is because of the Spirit Squad."

"Well you guys gave them quite a show today," Emma agreed.

"It's not my fault that Darcy won't relax. Spin has needs, I have needs, and we need each other. She was the one who started it."

"And you were the one who finished it, right?" Sean came up behind Paige and put his hands on her shoulders. "Paige Michalchuk never backs down from a fight. Too bad I couldn't see it."

"I'm sure it'll be up on You Tube soon enough. I'll e-mail you when it's posted. Can we go now?" Paige pulled away from Sean and opened the back door of the car.

"Sure, just let me do something first." Sean went over to Emma and gave her a quick kiss. "Thanks for coming."

Emma felt herself start to blush. "You were really good."

"You're really cute when you blush." Sean leaned in for another kiss but was interrupted by the beeping of his car horn.

"Can we go," Paige yelled out the window, "because I'm starving."

"We'll do this later," Sean said before he opened the passenger door to let Emma slide in.

"I'm going to stop taking you places if this is going to be how you treat me," Sean told Paige when he got into the car.

"Well then your cool factor would decrease by like seventy-five percent. You'd be like Manny."

"Hey!"

"I was just a joke, Hon. Let's go eat. I vote for Chinese."

* * *

"Where are you taking us, Sean?" Manny groaned as they continued walking through downtown Toronto. They'd finished eating and then Sean said he had a great idea for a fun time but he wouldn't tell them where they were going.

"Yeah, Sean, just tell us. I'm tired of walking," Paige whined.

"You ate like a ton of sesame chicken so you do need the exercise," Manny said.

"You do too, Miss Regular Coke. That Coke you were sucking down like no tomorrow is way worse than my chicken and vegetables."

"Those chicken and vegetables had a ton of sauce on them. And I saw you chowing down on the chow mein noodles. Those things have a ton of fat."

"Give it a rest guys, we're here." Sean stopped in front of a building that had wild lights blinking all around it.

"The arcade," Paige said as she wrinkled here nose with disgust, "are you kidding?"

"I thought we could use a night of stupid fun."

"It'll be cool. We can talk the geeks into pay for our games," Manny said as she opened the door. "Come on, Paige, let's go."

Paige and Manny entered the arcade leaving Sean and Emma outside.

"Are you okay, Em?"

Emma looked at the building and she knew she couldn't go it. All the people and the loud noises would be too much for her to handle.

"It's getting kind of late, maybe we should head home."

"It's eight thirty, Em."

"Yeah, but I thought we could use some alone time."

Sean crossed his arms over his chest. "I like alone time but I don't think that's the reason you don't want to go in there."

"What do you think the reason could be," Emma asked, trying to keep the fear and the anger out of her voice.

"You tell me. I think it has something to do with that secret you've been hiding from all of us."

"Don't tell me we're back to that again." This time Emma couldn't keep the anger out of her voice. Why couldn't he just accept that there were certain things she couldn't tell him?

"You're my girlfriend, Emma, doesn't than mean we're supposed to be honest with each other?"

"We're not married, we're just dating. Total disclosure isn't something we need to do right now."

"How do think it makes me feel that you can't trust me?"

"I don't trust a lot of people. My past has a lot do to with that."

"And you won't tell my anything about that past."

"People start to act strange when they know the truth," Emma said quietly. She looked down at the ground and shook her head. "Maybe you won't be any different. I don't want to lose you."

"There's nothing that you can say to me that's going to change how I act around you or feel about you."

"Okay, you want to know so I'll tell you. I have a genetic defect that causes hearing loss. It's been getting worse as I get older. Right now I'm having problems in loud places because I can't differentiate voices. In the next ten years the doctors say that I'll be completely deaf. Now you know."

"Right and I'm still standing here with you. And my feelings about you haven't changed. You're still the same Emma you were five minutes ago. Nothing has changed."

* * *

I know, long time no update. I'm sorry. Hope people are still interested in this story. I'll try to be better about updating in the future. 


	10. Chapter 10

"Sean, I just told you that I'm going to be completely deaf in a few more years."

"But you can hear now. And technology is always improving so maybe there'll be a way to fix things. And if not then you'll deal with it. You can't define yourself by that one thing."

"Excuse me?" Emma stared at Sean with an incredulous expression on her face.

"What? You're not just the deaf girl, Emma. I think maybe you see yourself that way but no one else does."

"I know that, sometimes I know that. The part I had a problem with is _me_ dealing with it. Where are you in this scenario?"

"Oh." Sean looked a little sheepish at his slip. "Em, I'm a practical guy and I don't know where we'll be in five or ten years, so if we're together then we'll deal with it. But if we're not then you're still strong enough to handle it on your own."

"It's just really scary to think about this future where I can't hear. But I'm dealing with it."

"By hiding it from everyone?" Sean watched as Emma's face turned angry at his words. "If you wanted a lap dog then you should be dating someone else."

"I don't want to be a charity case. People always feel sorry for the deaf girl. It hasn't gotten so bad that people notice or that they have to know right now."

"Because you avoid situations where it could be a problem."

"I'm doing the best I can! You don't know what it's like to wonder if your friends really like you or if they just feel sorry for you. Or to always have teachers pay extra attention to you in class. Or to find out that your crush only likes you because he thinks you'll be easy to get in bed."

"But it doesn't have to be like that! I'm sorry that you felt that way at your old school and I'm sorry that you feel like you have to hide but you need to give people a chance. Paige, Manny, Toby, all those kids might surprise you."

"You just don't get it Sean! You don't deal with it every single day!"

"I'm trying to understand but I feel like I'm going in circles with you!"

"I can't trust them! I have a father in Vancouver that I haven't seen or heard from in months. He leaves messages on the answering machine when he knows I won't be home. When I lived with him it wasn't much different. He can't stand the fact that his child has a disability. You want me to tell people that I barely know that I'm losing my hearing? My own father couldn't accept it so I'll be damned if tell anyone else and face that same rejection!"

Sean was speechless. He'd broken through Emma's wall but he'd gotten more than he'd bargained for. He didn't know what else to do for Emma. Maybe he'd just have to let her work things out for herself at this point.

"I need to go," Emma said upon seeing that Sean was rendered speechless. "Tell Manny and Paige that I'm not feeling well and I'll call them tomorrow."

"I can take you home," Sean said as he reached for Emma's arm.

"Don't," she warned and jerked her arm away from his hand. I'll call my mom."

"Maybe that's for the best," he agreed. "I'll see at school on Monday."

Emma waited until Sean was in the arcade before walking to the bus stop. She didn't want her mom to know what had happened.

"Yo Blondie, want a ride?" yelled a guy from an old beater.

Emma looked over prepared to tell the jerk to piss off when she saw that it was Jay's old beater and he was leaning out the driver's window.

"Sure." Emma hopped in and quickly belted up. Jay was notorious for being a crazy driver.

"So what are you doing down here?"

"I came with Sean, Manny and Paige."

"And yet you're alone."

"Things didn't work out."

"I smell a fight but you don't want to talk and I'll respect that. So where to?

"Anywhere but home."

"Have you ever heard of the ravine?"

"Isn't there where everyone goes to make out?"

"Among other things."

Emma didn't even need to think twice.

"Let's go."

* * *

Life got really busy for a long time. I'm a grad student so it's not going to get any better. I appreciate those of you that are still interested in this story. I'll make an effort to update but school keeps me really busy and when I do have a breather I don't usually want to write anymore. 


	11. Chapter 11

Emma sat in Jay's car shaking her foot impatiently. She had no idea why she was even here. She knew she hadn't wanted to go home but waiting in Jay's car while he disappeared into some grungy van with a big-breasted girl wasn't her idea of fun.

Emma straightened up as she noticed the door to the van open. Said big-breasted girl spilled out (of more than just her top) followed by a satiated-looking Jay. He was also carrying a beer can and Emma knew she was going to be walking the rest of the way home.

"Hello, Emma. Are you having fun in here?" Jay asked, sliding back into the car while still juggling the beer can.

"No," Emma said shortly.

"You could have joined me in the van. You could have had some beer; we could have had some fun. You really should loosen up."

"I'm not like that. My idea of fun isn't drinking and servicing you."

"Then why'd you come down here?"

"I don't know."

"I do. You got into a fight with Seanie-boy and I come pulling up in my old Toyota. I was your knight in a beat-up car. But I'm not that guy. I drink, I smoke, and I hook-up with random girls. Those things make me happy. We can be friends, we can be more than friends but you're going to have to accept that I'm never going to be a prince. If that's what you're looking for then keep on walking because he's not in this car."

"Fine, I will," Emma said and got out of Jay's car.

"Damn it," Jay yelled and smacked his hand against the dashboard. He quickly got out of the car and ran after Emma.

"I'm a jerk," he gasped when he reached her at the edge of the wooded area. "But I don't want you to expect too much of me. I screw up, a lot."

"What do you think is going to happen with us? I just saw you get out of a broken down van with that whore who's now making out with another guy. I get that you're interested in me and I'm flattered but you're not at all the kind of guy I'm looking for. And it's not that I think you're a bad person but I couldn't be with someone that doesn't just want to be with me."

"If you go out with me then I'll stop coming down here."

"Oh wow," Emma giggled, "this place is like crack to you. You sound like an addict who promises to give up his drug for the love of a good woman. I appreciate it but I don't expect you to change for me."

"And even if I did Sean would still be in your heart."

"I don't know where Sean would be. But like you don't want me to expect too much from you, I don't want you to expect too much from me. Maybe Sean and I will work things out, maybe we won't."

"So we both have issues?"

"Yep."

"That actually makes me feel better. I know you don't want a ride but I can walk you home."

"Sure." Emma linked her arm into Jay's and she led him down the road to her house.

"Are you trying to get fresh with me, Blondie?"

"Don't flatter yourself; I'm afraid that you'll be zigzagging all over the sidewalk and the cops will pull up and we'll end up in jail."

"Well in my fantasy you're taking me home to meet your parents."

"How much have you had to drink?"

"I'm actually pretty sober; I just get away with more if I pretend to be drunk. Now you know a secret so you have to tell me one of yours."

"Okay, I'll tell you a big one."

"I like the sound of this."

"I've known Mr. Simpson since before I was born. He went to school with my parents."

"So that's why you're teacher's pet."

"Right, it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a good student and actually do more than play Civ 3 in class." Emma stopped in front of a two-story brick house. "This is my stop. Thanks for walking me home."

"No problem. You know I'm going to surprise you. I think I could be the guy for you, Blondie."

* * *

Manny and Paige cornered Emma at her locker on Monday morning before she'd even taken off her coat.

"Emma, what the hell were you doing with Jay at the ravine on Saturday?" Paige asked in an angry whisper.

"Who told you I was with Jay?"

"It doesn't matter who told me, you know what happens in the ravine!"

"But nothing did happen."

"Oh my gosh, where is your head? Manny, yell at her before the stress of this moment makes me break out!"

"You told me to keep my mouth shut so that you could do the yelling," Manny protested.

"I need to get new friends, you're all imbeciles."

"What crawled up your ass," Emma asked.

"Spinner and Darcy got back together," Manny piped in.

"Oh, that's why I told you to shut up. Anyway, the point is that you have a boyfriend and you were seen coming of _the ravine_ with another guy."

"Damn, does Sean know?"

Emma already knew the answer when she saw Sean coming towards with an angry expression on his face.

"How could you?" Sean's yelling made everyone stop talking and stare.

"We need to talk, but not here."

"You went down to the ravine with Jay; we have nothing left to talk about. And I went out with you even after I knew you were deaf and this is how I'm repaid."

Emma ignored the excited whispers around her. "You knew, how?"

"You shouldn't carry around brochures to Gallaudet. It wasn't hard to figure out. Now everyone else knows, too."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Jay was best friend, how could you go down there with him?"

"Nothing happened! And you know why? He's not you and he'll never be you! But I was wrong about you, you're no knight, you're no knight at all."

Emma shoved past Sean and ran out of the school.

Sean looked around and saw a sea of disapproving faces. Paige was the first to speak.

"You're jerk," she said and stomped on his foot.

The bell rang a people swarmed all around him, some deliberately hitting him on the shoulder or stepping on his foot. The hallway emptied until he was left completely alone. And Sean realized his outburst had just completely screwed up his life.

* * *

Wow, what has gotten into me? Guess I got the writing bug. This chapter has made me feel really tense because there's just so much drama. I wanted to give the characters some flaws. Sean's temper is showing and Emma's a bit of a snob and Jay is Jay. I'm missing Manny and Paige so hopefully I'll be inspired to write for them again soon. Paige has the dialogue that goes on in my head a lot but I'd never have the guts to say it. That's why I love Paige, she gives me an outlet. 


	12. Chapter 12

Emma figured that it was her romantic fantasy that got her in trouble in the first place. She prided herself on being an independent young woman but in the back of her head there was always a fantasy that some handsome man would come along and make her want to tell all of her secrets. He would tell her that he loved her anyway and then they'd have a movie kiss with the foot-popping and fireworks and some added tongue action. Happily-ever after was what would happen next. That's what Emma secretly wanted. The face on the fantasy had changed over the years. Before Sean it had always been someone famous. He'd become front and center of that fantasy but now Emma knew that she'd have to let it go.

Emma wiped at the tears that were streaming down her face. That jerk wasn't going to get anything else from her. Blinking to clear her vision, she looked around and realized she was in the ravine behind the school. She recognized the van that Jay was in last weekend. Going home was not an option and neither was going back to school so she decided to hide in the van until she figured out her next step.

* * *

Jay had decided that going to school was not on his schedule until he got a couple more hours of sleep. He was too tired to make it back home so he went to what he fondly referred to as his love machine. He knew he'd made the right decision when he opened the door and found Emma lounging on the bed in the back.

"I'd prefer you naked but we can get to that later," Jay said with a grin and then settled himself down next to Emma.

"I didn't know you'd be here," Emma said nervously. Her eyes still felt sore from crying and she hoped Jay wouldn't notice.

Jay was a bit more perceptive than people gave him credit for. The whole drunk stoner vibe worked well for him. People were more free with their behavior in his presence because they thought he was on something. Sometimes he was. Hell, he didn't pretend to not be a stoner. But there were times when things were crystal clear. He could tell by Emma's face that she was upset and had been crying. He could choose to ignore it but that wasn't his style. He wanted Emma to be his girl, even if she was still hung-up on Sean. He also knew that being a shoulder to cry on was a great way to get in with a girl. Jay immediately berated himself for being a jerk. But Emma was hot and he was only a hormonal teenager who's first and every other thought of the day was about sex.

"Somebody in this van has been crying and although I am upset about having school today, it hasn't been me."

"I'm having a bad day."

"The day hasn't even started yet."

"I guess you haven't even been to school yet."

"Nope, I figured I needed some beauty rest before I see the ladies. And by ladies I mean you. Damn it, you've seen me without my beauty sleep and now you'll never want to go out with me. I can see I'm not amusing you. Alright, what's wrong?"

"I'm sure you'll find this out soon enough so I'll just tell you that Sean announced to everyone at school today that I'm going deaf. He was pissed because he found out we were down at the ravine on Saturday night. So now everyone knows my secret, and thinks that I'm a whore and Sean and I are definitely over."

"These are the moments I cherish," Jay said with a laugh.

"What? I just went through a traumatic experience and you're laughing!" Emma sat up on the bed and began shaking her foot angrily.

"Okay, it sucks that you're going deaf. Really, it's not cool. But my guess is that you've been preparing for the inevitable anyway so when it happens it's not going to be something you can't handle. As for the telling the whole school, well some people might be jerks and you'll just have to deal with that. The whore thing isn't a big deal. One guy won't give you that reputation, even if it's me so that rumor will blow over fast. And I can't say that I'm sad about you and Sean breaking up. So what all of this really amounts to is that it's mostly stupid high school drama and it'll be over soon enough.

"I just wanted to be normal for once in my life and now that's now going to happen here."

"So what do you want to do?"

"Get out of here."

"Cool. We'll get my car and head to the mall or something like that. Don't girls like to shop when they're upset?"

"I mean get out of Toronto. I want to go back to Vancouver. I want to go back today."

* * *

"So who do you think wins tool of the year award, Manny?"

Sean hung his head as he heard the voice of Paige trail down the hall. He'd been tense all morning waiting for the attack from his ex. She'd obviously decided that lunch time when everyone was in the hallway was what he deserved.

"Hmm, I don't know Paige. Is it Peter?"

"Hey!" Peter protested when he heard his name mentioned.

"Stuff it, Perv." Paige snapped. "Anyway, good guess. The little weasel gets an honorable mention for what he did to you but I'm thinking someone lower."

"But Jay's not here."

Sean squared his shoulders as the duo arrived at his locker. He was going to stand tall against the assault that he knew was coming.

"There's someone even lower than Jay these days. I know, it's a shocker but the winner is Sean Cameron. Congratulations, Sean, you won. As your reward you're going to get a lesson in how to treat your girlfriend."

"Forget it, I'm out."

Paige grabbed Sean's arm and dug her nails into his wrist. "You will stay and you will listen. You don't owe it to me but you owe it to Emma."

Sean knew she was right. "Not here," he said as he looked around the busy hallway. "Let's go to my car. Manny doesn't get to come."

"But Paige and I are a team," Manny protested.

"You know she'll tell you everything anyway. Cut the freaking cord for five minutes, okay? Let's go Paige."

* * *

"So what the hell was up with you today?"

"I heard that Emma was down in the ravine with Jay and I just snapped."

"And you told everyone her secret."

"Yeah, I'm the world's worst boyfriend."

"You know Emma and you know she'd never do anything with Jay. Why would you ever think something like that?"

"Because I know Jay wants her and he can be very persuasive."

"Something I know about Emma is that she's very loyal. There was nothing that Jay could have said to make her do anything more than listen to his drunken ramblings."

"I know that. She's golden, you know? Whatever she does she's going to be great. I think that I'm not good enough for her. So maybe I snapped because I wanted to end it before she ended it with me."

"Stop the pity-party. You know that's a bunch of crap. Maybe her hearing problem was too much for you to handle. And I know you're going to say that's not true but maybe it is. I'm going to guess that Emma has been hurt a lot. Maybe you didn't think you were up to the challenge of being Emma's hero."

"She doesn't need a hero."

"You're right. She needs a boyfriend. She needs you as you and not as some damn fantasy prince. Maybe if you both realize it you might be able to get past what happened today and have a real relationship."

"I need to see her. Get out."

"Fine, you're welcome."

"Bye."

Sean started his car and headed over to Emma's house. He figured he start at the most obvious place and then go from there.

Emma has just finished packing when she heard the doorbell ring. She had booked a plane ticket going to Vancouver using the "for emergencies only" credit card her father had given her. Jay had gone to get gas while she finished packing so she figured he was the one at the door.

"What are you doing here?" Emma asked when she opened the door and saw Sean standing there.

"I want to apologize for what happened earlier today. I need to talk to you if you'll just let me in so that we can have a conversation."

"No."

"I know that I was a jerk today."

"You were but that's not why I won't let you in. I'm going to Vancouver and I'm leaving as soon as Jay gets here."

"Oh." Sean squashed the jealousy that boiled up inside of him. He knew that there wasn't anything going on with the two of them. "How long will you be gone?"

"I don't know. Jay just pulled up. I have to go."

Sean felt a muscle in his jaw twitch and he clenched his jaw to keep from crying. He had to tell her now or he'd lose her.

"Emma, I don't want you to go. I think we have something here that's worth saving but we can't do that if you leave."

"You jerk! You can't do this right now. You messed up and now you're trying to get back into my good graces by saying that! I know you like to play the hero but now it's too late!"

"This is not about playing the hero. This is about us just being honest with each other. For once, we're both going to be honest."

"Yo Em, let's go." Jay yelled impatiently from the car. He was not happy to see Cameron at Emma's door but he was trying to avoid a fight because Emma wouldn't like it. That and Sean was really strong.

"What's it going to be? Are you going to stay with me or go with Jay? What are you going to do?"

* * *

Happy New Year to everyone. Hopefully this is a good present for those of you that are reading this story. I'm going to try and get another chapter up before my classes start up again on the 2nd. Thanks to those that are still reading this. I told you I wouldn't give up. 


	13. Chapter 13

Emma didn't get the chance to answer. Her mom pulled up before she could get a word out.

"Emma Christine McKay why aren't you at school? And why are Sean and Jay here? I'd better get an explanation right now!"

"Mom, I can totally explain."

"So can I, Mrs. McKay."

"I'm sure you can, Sean, but the only person I want to talk to right now is my daughter."

"Call me, Em." Jay shouted from his car. "Good seein' you, Mrs. McKay," he said with a wink.

"I'm sorry about all of this," said Sean. "Really, the whole situation is my fault."

"Just go, Sean. If I need any clarification on anything than I'll call you."

"Okay. Emma, uh, I'll talk to you later."

"Goodbye Sean," Spike said pointedly.

* * *

"So tell me why I got a call from Snake today telling me that you weren't at school."

Emma was seated on the couch. Her mother was pacing around her. She kind of felt like a prisoner being interrogated.

Emma sighed like she always did when she was frustrated. "Sean told everyone about me being deaf and I had to get out of there. He humiliated me and I just felt like the walls were closing in."

"Emma, you've been dealing with this your entire life. Sean shouldn't have told everyone but you need to stop being ashamed of what's happening to you. Things aren't going to get any better."

"Everyone at my last school knew about it. I was always the special kid. No one at Degrassi knew and for awhile I was normal. It was nice having friends who didn't know. And having people not feel sorry for me because of it."

"There are always going to be people who feel sorry for you. That is a fact of your life. But none of your real friends in Vancouver felt like that. And I doubt that any of your friends are going to start now. You're not less of a person because of your hearing problem. I've tried to make you see that but you just can't."

"_You've_ tried to make me see it but _he_ never did. I don't know why through all of this I keep seeing Dad in my head. I've wanted his love and his approval my entire life and I've never gotten it. I think I need to know why he's treated me the way he has."

"Emma, this is ridiculous. Your self-worth is not dependent on him or me or anyone else."

"My head knows it but my heart is having trouble catching up with that. Mom, I need to go to Vancouver."

"To see your father?"

"I just need to know why. I just want an answer."

"This is what you need?"

"More than anything."

"Fine, I'll let you go but there are going to be a few conditions. The first being that you're not going to go until Friday so you're going to go back to school for the rest of the week. You will be back on Monday. And when you get back we're going to get you a counselor and look into a support group. If you're not willing to do those things then you're not going anywhere."

"I have to go back to school?"

"Yes. Part of growing up is learning how to face things head on. If you want to go to Vancouver and confront your father then you're going have to go to school and confront your issues there. I raised you to stand tall in the face of adversity and that's what you're going to do today. Oh, and I'm going to drive you back and make sure you go in. And be sure that if you ever pull a stunt like this again, your hearing problem isn't going to be the thing that's preventing you from having a social life, it'll be me that's doing that."

Emma was relieved that the day was over. She'd seen the stares and people whispering but no one had been rude. Nor had anyone been overly nice. Jay had winked at her in passing and Sean kept giving her long, searching looks but he hadn't said anything. Emma hated to admit it but her mom was right. Damn it, her mom was right.

"Did you know that you're now the most feared girl in school? Seriously, even more than me and that really pisses me off."

Emma smiled as Paige and Manny approached her. She'd returned to school and after some questions about what exactly was wrong with her; everything between them was back to normal.

"Why are people scared of me?"

"Rumor has it that you can read lips. That means you know what people all around you are saying even if you can't hear them. Like, you have a goldmine of information right there. My gosh Emma, you have a gift! It's almost like having ESP." Manny was getting excited thinking about all the information they could garner because of Emma's talent.

"Manny, my story, zip it. Anyway," Paige paused to whip her long hair over her shoulder, "what she said."

"It's not like I use it to eavesdrop on conversations or anything."

"But you could, right?"

Before Emma could answer her phone rang.

"Hello? Yeah, I'll be there soon. Okay. Bye." Emma flipped her phone shut. "That was my mom and I have to go. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Emma hurried out the door and quickly looked around to make sure no one was watching her. She then made her way to Sean's car. He had called, not her mom. She hadn't wanted Paige or Manny to know. She needed to talk to Sean without anyone else's opinion running through her head.

Sean spotted Emma coming and opened her door before she got the chance.

"I'm glad you came."

"I don't want Paige or Manny to see us so let's get out of here."

Sean drove toward the waterfront. It would be empty since it was late November and freezing.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"About what you did yesterday?"

"About everything."

"So talk."

"I liked you from the moment I saw you. That is genuine. And then I found out about your hearing problem. I liked you but I also wanted be the good guy who wasn't going to be afraid about dating a girl with a disability.

"Gee, thanks for being so generous."

"You're right, I was a jerk. I am a jerk. It doesn't change the fact that I like you. Like insanely thinking about you all the time like you. But you have to know that it's scary for me. If we're together in five or ten years I'm going to have to watch you completely use your hearing. I don't know that I can handle that. I don't want to see you in pain and I know this is killing you. What if I'm not strong enough to stand by you through this?"

"I'm losing my hearing, not dying of cancer. Yeah, I'm scared but you were the one who said that whatever happens we can deal with it."

"Yeah, that was my hero boyfriend moment. Now I'm talking to you as a normal guy who is afraid. I want to be with you but you need to know that I'm not always going to be the perfect boyfriend."

"I'm well aware of that after this morning. I know you want us to be together but we can't right now. I need to be comfortable with what's happening to me and I'm not yet. I'm been dealing with this for seventeen years and I'm still not where I need to be. We're not going to be any good together if we're both not ready to accept my disability. It's a part of me but it can't define me anymore. I can't let it. And you can't let it either. Until we both see me as just Emma and not Deaf Emma then it's just not going to work." Emma had to swallow back tears at her last statement. She'd never wanted anything more in her life to work. But they couldn't be together, at least not now.

"It's over? Damn it, I didn't want this. If I could take back what happened this morning then I would."

"It was going to happen eventually. One of us would have fallen under the pressure and things would have been a lot worse. I'm going to Vancouver this weekend to see my father. I think after that we can work at being friends."

"Can we not be just friends for a little while longer?"

"Why?"

Sean leaned in and kissed Emma. At first she wanted to resist but she needed to say goodbye. And she knew she was going to miss this. She was going to miss him.

* * *

This is the longest story I've ever written. And I've been working on it for much longer than any of my other stories. And I still have ideas coming. Soon we'll meet Shane. And I think we're going to have some Jay and Sean. I hate them fighting so I want to move them back to being friends. As for Sean and Emma, I just don't know. I like them together but I also like Emma and Jay's interaction. I also like Emma being strong and independent. I like happy endings but I'm a believer that happiness doesn't always involve having a guy. So who knows where I'll go. I never really know until I sit down and write how things are going to turn out. Thanks to everyone who is reading. And thanks to you that are still reviewing. I know it's hard to stick with a story when the writer is spotty at updating so I appreciate those of you that still are. My classes start back up tomorrow and things are going to get busy again so please be patient with me. 


	14. Chapter 14

Emma struggled to get comfortable on the couch of her father's condo. She heard the dog snoring away in his room and wanted to scream. The dog not only had his own room but he snored so loud that she could hear it in the living room. Why had she even bothered coming here?

Emma arrived at the airport only to find that her father had sent a cab to pick her up because he had to work. She was then ushered into her father's new condo by the manager who informed her that Shane had to work late and that she should order a pizza. Upon inspection of the condo, it was obvious she had no place to sleep. Her father had take up one bedroom and the second bedroom had been turned into an office. If he had an office here then why did he need to work late?

Emma declined invitations from her friends in hopes that her father would be soon and they could talk. At 10:30 she had given up and went over to her friend, Kristy's place, where they'd watched movies and made margaritas. When she stumbled in at 2 AM the door to her father's room was closed, indicating he was finally home. Blankets and a pillow were laid out on the couch and Emma gratefully sunk into it only to discover the sofa was the world's most uncomfortable sofa ever. Now she was pissed and a little drunk and she couldn't sleep. Thoughts kept rolling around in her head. She kept seeing pictures of Jay and Sean floating in front of her and she knew what she needed to do.

Digging out her cell phone, she scrolled down until she found the number she needed, had a brief debate with herself and then hit the green phone before she could talk herself out of it. He picked up on the second ring.

"Emma?" His voice was gravelly with sleep.

"I'm sorry, I forgot about the time difference," Emma winced when she realized it was 5 AM in Toronto. "I'll call you some other time."

"I grabbed the wrong phone tonight. I know it's not me you want to talk to right now. I get it, you want him."

Emma was silent. What else could she say?

"He's right here, give me a minute."

"Emma?"

"I just wanted to say that I was wrong about a lot of stuff and I'm sorry and I want to see you when I get back. Don't hate me for being scared. I'll call you when I get back."

"I love you," he replied.

Emma hung up the phone before she could respond. She didn't know what to say. She wasn't expecting that from him and she wasn't sure she could say it back. Damn drunk dialing, this was a perfect example of why it should never be done.

* * *

"I have present for you."

Sean was startled by Jay's voice as he left work for the evening. In truth, he'd been thinking about Emma all during his shift and hadn't been paying much attention to anything.

"What are you doing here? I don't want to fight anymore Jay so if it's a punch in the nose then you can just save it." Sean turned and walked towards his car.

"I never knew you to turn down a fine bottle of Irish whiskey," Jay said with an all-knowing smirk.

Damn it, Jay knew him too well. If he wasn't with a girl then Sean really liked nothing better than sipping Jameson's with Jay and working on cars or watching sports. They hadn't done that in awhile, at least not since Emma. All he would do when he got home was mope anyway.

"I'll be at your place in 15 minutes and you'd better have the Cheetos," Sean called to Jay as he got into his car.

"Will do," Jay replied. He didn't know what possessed him to come get Sean. He blamed all the media attention on "bromance". And he was bored and it was Friday night and he figured even if he and Sean ended up fighting it would still be more interesting than another rerun of _Monster Garage_.

"You know there's an elephant in the room," Jay slurred a couple of hours later. They'd started out the evening playing Poker and were now so inebriated that even War was becoming difficult.

Sean was confused. He looked up from his cards to find the elephant but wasn't seeing anything.

"I mean Emma, Dumbass," Jay said before doing another shot of whiskey. They were speeding through the bottle and Jay was sure that all the tasty liquor was going to come back up during a date with the porcelain god later.

"You like her?" Sean was feeling pretty sober all of a sudden. The cards between them didn't matter at the moment.

"Yeah, I do and maybe it's more than like. And it's not just as someone to have sex with, although I wouldn't protest that. Please don't hit me, I'm drunk and don't know what I'm saying."

Sean wasn't going to hit Jay. He believed that Jay really cared about Emma.

"I love her," Sean said, knowing it was true.

"So what do we do?"

"There's been too much drama," Sean said with disgust. "Maybe we just both need to swear off Emma and go back to the way it was before."

"Before when we both weren't very happy with women who weren't really into us?" Jay cursed himself. At least he was getting laid back then.

"So that's not the answer, but I do have the answer in my head." The whiskey had kicked back in and Sean was feeling very drunk again. "The answer is more whiskey," he said triumphantly and he downed another shot. Unfortunately that was the shot that put him over the edge and he dashed for the bathroom.

Jay laughed at his friend. "Lightweight," he called out as he downed another shot. "Shit," Jay whispered as he realized this shot wasn't sitting too well and Sean was in the nearest bathroom.

Many hours later a phone was ringing at Jay's place. A hand shot out and grabbed a phone that was lying on the coffee table.

"Emma?"

* * *

What is up with this? I lost my motivation for a long time so I apologize for the non-update. If there are still people out there interested in this story then I really appreciate it. It might be another year or two but I will complete this story.


	15. Chapter 15

Sometimes writers write the hell out of a story at the beginning and have a clear idea about where to go and then lose the way. I am one of those writers. When I started this story, I wrote the hell out of it. And then I lost it and started not having any idea about how to get it back to the strong beginning. I don't know if this is going to cut it. What I do know is that the beginning deserves an ending and it is more than time to finish this tale. I'm sorry for taking so long. I'm sorry that this isn't what it should be. I thank you all for reading and sticking with it. And a special thanks to the characters of Sean and Emma, who inspired this story. You guys are still a couple in my world.

* * *

"Why are you up so late?"

Emma looked up from her phone to see her father back lit in the doorway of his bedroom.

"I just got back," she replied.

"Don't you have a curfew with your mother?" Shane questioned, stepping over the dog that was blocking the hallway.

"I'm not at Mom's house," Emma reminded him, "and I waited for you but you never came home."

"I know, I'm sorry, I had to work late."

"You always did," Emma said with clenched teeth. "I don't know why I even came here. You never made time for me anyway."

Shane opened his mouth to make an excuse but none came out. Emma was right; he never had made time for his only child. "I know, you're right."

"I just never understood why work was more important than me and mom." Emma sat down. She was a little drunk and it was making her way more verbal than usual.

"Work has always been something I can control, something I'm good at and that I can do well. I look at a computer and I know how to fix it."

"But you could never fix me."

"What? No! That's not what I said!" Shane protested loudly.

"You didn't have to. I got it, I've always gotten it. I'm your broken child, the one you couldn't fix, so you've avoided as much as possible," Emma sobbed out the last words. It hurt to feel like less.

"You're not the broken one!" Shane took a deep breath to control the tears that threatened. He'd never wanted his child to feel that way. "You have a genetic disease, a disease that's passed down through the parents. No one ever told you that I'm the carrier of that disease. It's my fault that you have hearing problems. I'm the broken one, not you."

"Then why have you always been so distant?" Emma was freely crying right now. There was a certain relief in knowing the truth but there was anger that it had been kept from her.

"You were so perfect when you were born. I never wanted anything to harm you. And then as you got older and your hearing problems manifested, I knew it was my fault. You were perfect and I ruined that for you because of some crappy genetics. I had a hard time living with myself. I felt that I wasn't worthy of being your parent."

"And in the process you made me feel that I wasn't worthy of being your child, that I wasn't worthy of having friends, or a boyfriend, or living a normal life because of my hearing problem. I just broke up with a guy in Toronto because I wasn't sure if he liked me for me or if I was just his charity case. Had you ever given me one shred of evidence that I was okay despite my disability, things would have been different! I would have been different!"

"There's no manual on how to raise a child, Emma. I thought I was doing right by you."

Emma laughed. "Go to any public library and ask if there are manuals on how to raise children and they could lead you to shelves full. You didn't want to be father, to a perfect child or to a child like me. It was never about your genetics. You were weak, you are weak."

"That's enough," Shane said sharply. "We're done with this conversation."

"Walk away; it's what you're good at."

"I don't owe you anything."

"I know you don't. I thought I came here for the truth, but I knew the truth all along. It stared me in my face my entire life and I didn't see it. Hmm, maybe I need to get my eyes checked, "Emma said with a giggle. She was relieved. Things had become much clearer for her and now she was ready to move on with her life.

"Go to bed," Shane told her.

"I don't have a bed; you made sure I wouldn't have a place of my own here. Don't worry, I'm leaving soon anyway."

"You don't have to."

"I'm not staying here anymore. You never wanted a kid. That had nothing to do with me or my hearing problem or anything else. I wasted so much time thinking there was something wrong with me but I'm done with it. You're the one with the problem and you're going to have to deal with it." Emma quickly gathered her things and walked out the door. She was going back to Toronto. She was going back home.

* * *

Emma found Sean under his mother's car. Jay was also there, impatiently waiting for Sean to finish whatever he was doing.

"I told you to change the oil this morning," Jay said.

"I was too hung-over," Sean replied from under the car, "and that was your fault. I still feel a little sick."

Jay spotted Emma coming towards them. "Well, I think that there's something here that might make you feel better."

Jay gave Emma a wink before heading into the house. He knew the second he'd picked up Sean's phone last night his chances with Emma were over. Sean loved her and he wasn't going to be the guy to mess with that.

"What are you talking about? Jay? Jay!" Sean slid out from under the car, alarmed when Jay didn't answer. "Emma?" Sean took in the tall blond. She was beautiful as always but there was something different about her. There wasn't any fear in her eyes. For the first time since he'd met her, Emma wasn't guarded.

"Hi."

"Hi. I didn't think you'd be back so soon." He stood by the car. He was sure if etiquette demanded space or a hug. He erred on the side of caution and kept his distance until he knew what Emma came to say.

"I finished things in Vancouver."

"And they went well." It wasn't a question. He knew that Emma was okay.

"Yeah, I missed you."

"I have the memory of the phone call to prove it."

"About the phone call…"

"I meant what I said. I do love you and I understand if you don't love me back or if you never want to see me again. I want to have a future with you and I need you to know that."

"I love you, too." Emma took a step closer to Sean. She needed to be close to him right now. "I didn't know a lot of things before I went to Vancouver. I still don't know a lot of things. But I do know that I'm fine the way I am. And I know that I love you. I figure the rest will work itself out."

Sean smiled. Emma loved him. He grabbed her and kissed her. They barely heard Jay when he barked a hasty goodbye and then zoomed off in his car. They didn't hear anything until several minutes later when Sean's mother came out and politely reminded them that everyone on the street could see them and that there were better places for that behavior. Emma blushed and hid her face in Sean's neck but he just grinned at his mom. There was nothing wrong with being happy.

* * *

"So you're back for good?" Manny asked for the third time since they'd all met up at The Dot.

"Yeah, well at least until I go off to college." Emma glanced at the slight frown on Sean's face. "But that's a bridge that we'll cross later. Right now I'm just really happy to be here with all of you."

"We could still use you on the Spirit Squad," Paige said. "I mean, if Darcy can do it then you can too."

"Spin still back with her?" Jay asked. "You know, I'm single."

"Whatever, I've got to go home. I'm behind in English and my parents will throw a fit if I'm not home early." Paige gave Jay a look and then left with a swish of hair.

Jay stood up quickly. "And I'm going to go see if she needs some help," he said, following Paige out the door.

"How long have those two been…?" Emma was at a loss for words. What was that?

"Those two have been circling each other for months, "Manny informed them. "They were both just too stubborn to realize it."

"I'm just going to be honest and say that Sean and I are going out to his house to make out before his parents get back. We'll see you in school." Sean and Emma left hand in hand.

Manny stared longingly and then got out her phone and message Craig. They weren't in love like Sean and Emma, but sometimes being in lust was enough.

* * *

"You look so happy, Em," Sean remarked as he slid the shirt over his head. His parents would be home soon and he didn't think they'd be happy to find him and Emma on the couch half-dressed.

"I am. It took me so long to just figure everything out. Now that I have, I just feel like a new person. Well, that and what we just did on the couch."

"That was fun," Sean agreed.

"I'm okay Sean. I'm finally okay."

"You're more than okay," he said, pulling her into his arms, "you're perfect just the way you are."

* * *

So that's the ending. It ended up being a lot different than I thought. Shane was going to end up being a good father who just made some mistakes. But then I felt that Emma needed to find her own strength away from her father's affirmation. And she did. I'm relieved that I could finally give you all an ending to this story. I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
